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Why sobriety is difficult...

...I didn't give up alcohol because I saw a different life for myself. I gave up because I knew I would die if I didn't.

I was drowning my heartache away. I didn't want to be sober. I wanted him to love me. And he didn't. I didn't even care if he treated me well. I still cringe to think about it.

And when I drank, I had no control over my behaviour. I'd keep going back.

Not only was my life out of control, I was now getting blackouts.

My therapist told me part of why I was feeling low was because of the impact alcohol had on my brain. It was most definitely the lowest point in my life.

I didn't stand a chance so long as I continued. What I didn't bargain for was how hard it would be afterwards.

How long the road would feel. Being sober felt like I was the walking dead. I was scared I would feel that way forever.

I also felt alone. When you're trapped in damaging cycles of behaviour it's hard to talk about it. I felt a lot of shame.

This period of life damaged the little confidence I had in myself. I share in this video some of why sobriety can be so hard. If this is you, I want you to know it wasn't forever.

I'm not in pain anymore and I love my life even though I still face emotional challenges. It takes enormous determination and patience. Know you are not alone.

I spoke about the link between addiction and relationships in part 1 of this series on sobriety. Because relationships are our biggest triggers. 

In this video I share some of why sobriety is difficult..

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