Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence
In Daniel Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence, there are five skills he discusses.
- Self- Management
- Social - Awareness
- Relationship Management
And without these 5 skills, your emotions control you. Leading with emotional intelligence requires you have control over your emotions.
Leadership expert Blaire Singer says when our emotions go up, our intelligence goes down.
Having any power over our destiny requires wisdom. And wisdom is easily clouded by heightened emotions.
To successfully be leading with emotional intelligence, mastery over all 5 skills are necessary.
What follows are healthier relationships, a greater ability to achieve goals and a wider choice available to live life to the fullest.
Growth isn't equal
Now, some people have great awareness but lack the capacity to manage themselves. Others have the management down, but not an ounce of awareness on how they are in the world and how they impact others.
Personally, empathy came easy to me since childhood. Growing up though I had neither awareness nor management. I was all over the place creating chaos in my life.
After my first crash in my twenties, I developed awareness quickly. Suddenly I could see EVERYTHING. So much so at times, it overwhelmed me.
My management ability did not grow at the same pace. This left me pained.
There is a reason they say ignorance is bliss. When you know and you don't have the means to DO... life can become freaking depressing.
Until I understood that just because something 'seems' hard doesn't mean it can't be done.
It's all spiritual, mental and emotional muscle. And everything can be developed.
It was part of my Soul journey. To grow the muscle of will power with love and compassion.
I began with FOUR THINGS: Acceptance, Patience, Belief & Neutralise
4 ways to start
leading with emotional intelligence
- ACCEPTANCE: Acceptance of who you are and where you are in life.
For me it mean knowing the lack of management ability didn't make me any less.
I stopped judging people who lacked awareness or empathy skills. Like me, they were on their own journey. Like me, they would discover themselves in their own away and their own time.
- PATIENCE: The patience to allow your life to unfold.
I cultivated the patience to not hurry life. Healing and growth can be rushed.
- BELIEF: If you don't believe you can do something, any action towards it feels like a waste of time.
Overcoming self-doubt is a continuous challenge. With each breakthrough, growth in my external world expands.
- NEUTRALISE EMOTIONS: I practised tools to neutralise and release my painful emotions.
These four things ALONE gave me a sense of personal power over my life. Most importantly over my relationships.
'Stuff' still happens. But I don't let that stuff into a ticking time bomb.
I leave you with these words: